A number of my coworkers and friends have been worried about me lately because I haven't seem my usually peppy self. The truth of the matter is that I can no longer continue to pretend that everything is OK because the pretending is tedious and leaves me feeling overwhelmed and drained.
If it wasn't bad enough that I was stupid enough to put up with physical abuse, my former partner has now decided to slander my name using none other than a blog. I didn't want to bring my personal drama to I Was Born Doing Reference Work In Sin; however, I feel I have no choice as my former partner is using the web to to slander my name. This me being real... being open... and telling you what's going on....
The EX is an angry person, and I am too, so I can't knock him for that. We're splitting ways, which means we are both moving. He's upset from a financial standpoint about the move. For the last five months I have paid 75% of the rent and allowed him to be late with paying me back for bills. I know-- Piss on me once, shame on you. Piss on me twice, shame on me.
The EX also cheated on me in December of 2007 while visiting his family in Houston for Christmas. I fly out to meet a chunk of his family for the first time, and it was my first Christmas away from my family. I do have to say, at least he waited until I left the city before he cheated on me. I suspected that he cheated after seeing some very friendly pictures on Myspace; however, I decided to believe him when denied that anything happened However, it all came out last month-- he finally admitted to cheating.
THEN I discovered that the EX had been responding to and posting ADs on Craigslist. He had 150 emails in the email account titled AtlBlackBook, which he created just for his Craigslist fun.
Now, I'm the bad guy.
I am tired of being angry, and I am freaking exhausted.
One of my favorite lines from FRIED GREENS TOMATOES is, "God doesn't close a door without opening a window." Well, I could really use that window right about now.
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6 comments:
i hate cheaters. i should get him my ex boyfriend cheaters phone number and they can cheat together.
those of us who know you and are truly your friends know better than to believe anything he might be saying about you...i really can't imagine what negative things ANYONE could say about you...you know i'm here...you have so many other wonderful things in your life that you can throw your energy into- i hope it gets better soon "hugs*
Oh, sweetie, that's got to be hard. Breakups are never fun, even when they're relatively civilized, and when they have added pain like that, ugh, I can't even imagine.
You're dealing with rage, but I suspect you're also dealing with grief for what was and what could have been. Let things flow as they need to--as you've already discovered, putting up a false face doesn't speed the healing process in the slightest.
Please take care of yourself.
MM, Darie, Sheila, & CK-- I really appreciate your comments. The pain is raw at this point, and I am trying to concentrate on the fact that I fantastic friends to fall back on, and I have to realize it is OK to fall back on my friends..... that is what friends are for.
Well, you know my history with someone that used to live with you. Not to sound too bitter but I have come to the conclusion that I am better off alone. I will enjoy the friends I do have but now that I live alone and in midtown, I am pretty happy. Sorry it all went so bad for you. I hadn't heard anything recently about or from you so I had assumed that all was well. Glad I happened upon this to find out what's really going on. If you need to talk, I'm here. I am pretty familiar with the territory of being cheated on as you know.
Dustin,
You are without a doubt a beautiful person inside and out. You are surrounded by people who love you in many ways. Everyone means well in thier advice and not all advice works for all people. So try it all. Find what works for you. There are many answers to dealing with life's challenges. I don't mean to be too succint but I don't have the power over words that you do. Believe in your ability to deal with this and you will. You really will. All the best that a stranger can offer is my only simple truths.
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